Before I get started on the topic in the title, I want to say THANK YOU for your responses to last week’s survey. You’ve given Leah and me so many helpful insights. I’ll be sharing some of them in the weeks ahead, but today I want to discuss one issue at the top of my mind when I posted the survey: whether to keep publishing Curve Cam posts.
I expected a giant backlash against them, but you surprised me. Twenty-two of you (out of 64 responses)Â included Curve Cam in the five topics you most enjoy, while 18 of you (out of 50 responses) included Curve Cam in the five topics you wouldn’t miss. On the other hand, seven topics got more “most enjoy” votes than Curve Cam, and NO topics got more “wouldn’t miss” votes than Curve Cam.
Even before the results came in, a comment from ContraryKiwi last week had me reflecting on the purpose of the Curve Cams: “I suppose I don’t really understand the point. Is it ‘don’t make the same mistake as this woman’? Is it ‘see how common poorly fitting bras/clothing is’? I don’t know.”
Back in 2010, I stated that my reason for posting Curve Cam pics was “to present you with fashion examples from the woman on the street“. I still like this goal. Like many of you who notice the fit of a woman’s bra wherever you go, I now notice the fit of her bra plus what she’s wearing over it. All. The. Time. Living in New York City, I see good and bad examples of how to dress big boobs every time I step onto the subway. For instance, simply traveling to a doctor’s appointment in Manhattan early last Wednesday morning, I kept seeing things that I wanted to share with you! And then I’d think, “But wait! I may not be posting Curve Cam pics anymore.” That’s when I realized what a habit it’s become.
Another reason I began the Curve Cam posts was to highlight the big bust challenges that we all share–such as a too-small triangle top. It’s a way to say, “See? You’re not alone.” Of course now there’s a much better forum for that in Busty Girl Comics.
Unfortunately, I have to confess a third reason for the Curve Cam posts: entertainment. Some what-not-to-wear examples are so extreme as to be caricatures, such as the too-small triangle top that I link to above, or the neon pink bra under the too tight and too high-necked sheer white top that I posted on the 4th of July. Although ostensibly “educational” or “we’re all in the same boat”, the subtext is actually “None of us would be caught wearing that, would we, ladies?” For posts like these, I agree with these comments from the survey:
1. I actually don’t care for curve cam because it seems to veer a little close to mean for me. If it were just pictures of “dos” I would like it a lot better. I would like more emphasis on the positive and less on the negative.
2. I feel that the curve cam is really invasive and a bit rude. I would be upset to see my picture up in this segment and I feel that women are hard enough on each other as is. While I can see that you try to be as tactful as possible, I think there is an undertone of judgement and disapproval at the way these women dress which it is not our place to judge.
3. I find the Curve Cam posts snarky and judgmental, and I generally dislike internet commentary on the personal appearance of people who haven’t consented to have their photograph taken and published on the internet – even if their face is obscured.
Points about being mean, judging and snarky taken. And thank you for making them so graciously. Hourglassy readers have always been thoughtful, considerate and accepting in their comments, so I’m pretty chagrined to be the one found promoting snark here!
Regarding surreptitious photographs, however, I’m 85% persuaded to stop posting them. I’ve been wondering how I would feel if I discovered a picture of myself used as an example on someone else’s blog post, and I have to admit that I would prefer to be given the opportunity to consent. I like the approach of the Underground New York Public Library blogger, as described in a recent Wall Street Journal article:
On her website, she writes that taking photographs of people without their permission is “not wrong†legally. Ben-Haim also says that she never hides her camera, answers questions from those who notice what she’s doing and discards photos if she thinks the subject would find the result unflattering.
If only I blogged about people reading books on the subway! Do I hide my camera? Yes. Do I answer questions from others who notice what I’m doing? No (so far I’ve only received a few quizzical looks). And of course you’ve seen photos I’ve taken that a subject would find unflattering. Here’s the problem: even for a “this looks great” photo, how likely is a woman to consent to a photo by a stranger who says it’s for a blog about having big boobs?
I’m ready to put Curve Cam on the shelf for now, although I may resurrect it as a positive-only column sometime. I will also limit my use of stealth photographs for now. However, I’ll likely keep taking them on the chance that they may someday illustrate a point I want to make. If I use them to illustrate a point, I’ll be careful to scrutinize my motives and to be sensitive in how I present them.
Last January’s “bikini post” demonstrates the complexity surrounding the use of this tool. Astrid, an H+ blogger whose opinion I highly respect, mentioned at the time that “. . . the candid camera leaves me a bit uneasy. I for one would feel mortified if I was one of the women featured and found my picture on the Internet as an example of a ‘not so perfect body’.” While I agreed with her, I wanted to share the imagery that caused me to be more accepting of my own “not so perfect body”, and this survey comment from another Hourglassy reader makes me glad that I did:Â “[Y]our post on ‘real bikini bodies’ inspired me to get one! Seriously, it pretty much single-handedly jump-started that aspect of my body confidence.”
Your photos of good fitting clothes/bras on bigger busted women are so positive and helpful, I much prefer them to curve cam because I know only too well the feeling of not having got my clothing quite right and feeling physically and mentally uncomfortable through the long, long day.
Maybe Curve Cam can be reincarnated like a street style post. If someone (who didn’t look sketchy) wanted to take a pic to post on a fashion blog, I’d be game. Of course, as long as they emailed me the blog URL before taking the pic….so I could confirm the story.
I completely agree with JBear and the commenters that you quoted in your post… I just don’t “get anything” out of Curve Cam. I see badly dressed people everyday (and as JBear noted, am sometimes horribly aware of being one of those people). As full-breasted women with unique fashion challenges, we all know what that feels like, and so it’s a bit uncomfortable to see photos of other people in the same situation. I think it’s similar to the uncomfortable feeling I get when watching a character embarrass themselves in a movie.
And I think there’s a real difference between the positive and negative Curve Cam posts. The bikini post you cited illustrates this perfectly. The pictures that you took of the women on the beach were of a positive nature, and truly illustrated the beauty of a range of body types. I think an occasional post of this nature can be helpful as a demonstration of “what to wear” and can have a positive effect on personal body image, as you experienced personally. This sort of post is much different than the the tabloid cover of “worst beach bodies” or the negative “what not to wear” Curve Cam posts, which are criticisms of other women.
Keep up the good work! I absolutely love your blog. I’m very impressed at your open and honest dialogue with your readers, as well as your willingness to delve into sensitive issues like this one.
I enjoy the Curve Cam. I like that you feature normal women you come across on the street. Many bloggers regularly post pictures of themselves in carefully calculated poses, impeccably dressed in clothes that I could never afford, and while those outfits are pretty, your Curve Cam posts hit closer to home. I look at some of the pictures and think “That looks like something I could wear!” or “Her body/posture looks similar to mine!” However, because it hits close to home, I think it’s even more important not to pass negative judgment. We’ve all been there.
Thanks for being so responsive to your readers. I’ll miss the Curve Cam!
Thank you all for such constructive comments! Perhaps I’ll find a way to reincarnate the Curve Cam as a street style column like you suggested, Jame. If I do that, I’ll create some Hourglassy business cards to hand to women when I ask for permission to photograph them. Describing it as a fashion blog rather than a boob blog will make a big difference to the kind of reception I get! 🙂
Just yesterday I saw an AMAZING knit dress on the subway. Now that I’ve posted this and received your comments, I’m seriously beginning to only notice the outfits that look good on large-busted women.
I enjoy Curve Cam, although I agree, I would be upset to find myself here if it were an unflattering picture. Sometimes what we see in the mirror is not the same as what others see. However, if someone came up to me, looking great, and said they wanted my picture for a blog about looking great (with figure difficulties), then I would be estatic! Definately, I think you should approach people. Maybe take a candid shot first, approach them, show the picture, and get another “posed” shot if they agree. Have a stack of your business/web cards handy!
You’re right–it can seem vain, but sometimes it’s only by taking photos of myself that I realize that the way I WANT something to look isn’t actually reality. That usually happens when I’m trying a new trend OR when something about a garment highlights one of my good features or brings out something about my personality. Last night I noticed a woman in an unflattering dress (I forgot about her when I wrote my last comment!), but I knew exactly why she purchased it. It didn’t do anything for her figure, but the fabric pattern and colors totally energized her.
Okay, I’m going to get on Vistaprint now for those cards!
I like the curve cam. As clueless as I am about fashion is it’s nice to see someone that is even worse.
Thanks for quoting me, Darlene! I had wondered if my comment had been seen, so it’s very nice to see that I was!
I can see the advantage of having photos to be able to clearly point out “this is not flattering”, because I found that part of my own blog so helpful. I’ve gotten rid of clothing I thought looked good on me, because once I took photos of it I realised that it really didn’t. It’s a valuable process. However, I think the negative (ie. “this doesn’t work”) aspect of Curve Cam would work so much better as something voluntary, where women come to you to say “I am a bit iffy about this outfit, please give me your opinion” with the full knowledge that it’d be shared on the blog to help others. Kind of like those “What Not To Wear” type shows. I find that constructive criticism is less likely to turn into body snark if it’s been requested.
If that isn’t an appealing or viable option (who knows if many women would be willing to send you photos?), disregard it! It’s just the only idea I could think of that retains the helpful “don’t do this because of X & Y” without crossing into the snarkiness.
I love the idea of the street style bit! Seeing what other people do right is just as helpful as seeing what they do wrong, and is a body positive approach that empowers the readers and the woman who got it right.
Whew, long comment. Finally I want to say that this post has greatly increased my already considerable respect for you, Darlene. Your thoughtful acceptance of the constructive criticism, your desire to connect with your readers and your eagerness to turn this feature into something that encourages and empowers others are all things that make this blog such a delight to read.