A woman complained in a recent tweet that she hadn’t worn a low enough top to get what she wanted from her boss and was now having to go through red tape. I responded by saying that if she’d worn a Campbell & Kate shirt, all she’d need to do was unfasten an extra button or two! It was her tweet and a customer’s recent appreciation of the button placement in my shirts that led to today’s Campbell & Kate blog post about how high or low a full-busted woman should go with her neckline.
Even with the amount of cleavage discussion we’ve already had on Hourglassy, it’s impossible to exhaust this subject. One reason is that it’s so personal. After the Twitter exchange above, I wondered, “Would I ever wear a low neckline to get something?” Chances are, I wouldn’t. It’s a conclusion I reached during the discussion that took place in April when I asked whether baring cleavage proves that a woman owns her boobs. When I hear about other women’s strategic use of cleavage, however, I sometimes vacillate, as I did when I read about Leah’s idea to bar tend in order to raise more money during a fundraiser (in her recent post about breasts as weapons).
It’s impossible to reduce a subject to hard and fast rules when so much depends upon our own feelings and goals at any given moment. I’m curious to hear if you have used your neckline (either low OR high) to accomplish something, and what factored into your decision.
Unless it was to get something from my husband (with him fully aware that I was joking), I would never do this. I have many male friends who complain about women using sex to get what they want, and although they always fail to see that the reason women can do it at all is because men will very often encourage them, it still rankles with me. I want to get through life based on my real merits, not based on dudes being horny.
That being said, I don’t cover up to avoid attention. I cover up based on my comfort level, and sometimes that means that I do get attention. I am not going to let a guy’s obsession with my boobs either help or hinder me in life, because it’s not fair on guys (or less boobular women) if my boobs help and it’s not fair on me if they hinder.
“[T]hey always fail to see that the reason women can do it at all is because men will very often encourage them.” Great point!
My husband has a co-worker who uses cleavage and flirting all the time. It’s interesting because he’s so matter-of-fact about it. He doesn’t complain that it’s not fair, but he doesn’t believe she can do her job without getting the help she always asks men for.
I’m not sure I agree that it isn’t fair to the “less boobular women”. If everyone were created with identical assets, I would agree, but each of us was born with an arsenal of advantages and disadvantages next to others.
It would never occur to me to use my body to get something. That would just make me feel cheap. Plus, I don’t even think it would work, except in a sitcom! I mean, it’s not like wearing something short or low cut will magically get people to do whatever your want. It is such a foreign notion to me that I wouldn’t know how to go around it.
I’m like you, Astrid–I wouldn’t know how to go about it. OR, I’d be in the middle of acting like a woman in a sitcom and suddenly get stage fright and retreat!
That sort of attention makes me really uncomfortable. I inadvertently had this happen the other summer when at a dance near where I was living at the time. I was getting more -and better- dances than usual and was confused as to why. Towards the end of the night I realized it was the first time I wore a (not even that low) tank top to this studio – I had cleavage showing and it was noticed. While I enjoyed getting dances from the better leads, I wanted them to be because I was a good follow, not because bits were bouncing around and more visible.
I do find using cleavage at a work environment somewhat questionable in my personal opinion but agree that it is a personal choice. However I think if coworkers see you as someone who uses their physical assets to get something or somewhere in worklife it does effect your belieavability and integrity in their eyes. Of course that might not matter to a person but then workplace is a community that works best if people have common set of unwritten rules that everyone follows and works as a team. But having said that, yes I have used cleavage to get something I want – bartenders attention at a crowded bar to get quicker service. But most often totally unintentionally!
It definitely affects a person’s credibility, but I have found that the workplace as a community where everyone works as a team is sometimes more of an ideal than a reality. Hence some individual’s efforts to get ahead using whatever advantages they think they have.
That’s hilarious about getting a bartender’s attention–it shows how attune men’s eyes are to women’s busts even in a dark and crowded environment!