Best Breasts Forward ~ Giving Thanks

I have so many things to be thankful for.

One thing I am greatful for are my breasts.

Everytime I feel the need to complain about how my girls droop and sag. Every time I curse out clothes or for one second wish they were smaller . . .

I remember to be thankful.

I remember the women, some in my family who have had to let go of their breasts. Who have found that there are so many other things that define their womanhood.

I remember that the same breasts I’ve sometimes cursed are the same that fed my children for over a year each.

And I remember that if I wasn’t a big-breasted girl I would not be a big-breasted woman with big-breasted readers.

Thank you.

Not Like the Others: Sibley’s Tips for Standing Out

Although this series is about how to deal with being different, each contributor has one thing in common with the others: she’s an amazing writer. This Thanksgiving, I’m giving thanks for the amazing readers who entered the Panache sports tank giveaway, and I know you will, too. (Edit: I’ve just been given permission to share Sibley’s blog with you. If, like me, her post leaves you wanting more, then you must check out Radical Neurodivergence Speaking.)

So, tips for standing out and dealing with it? I am made of those: I am a Hapa woman who grew up in a very not-diverse part of town, I am neurodivergent (noticibly so), and I’m one of those people who has an I AM HERE beacon on my forehead. Always have been.

There are two ways to attempt to deal with what happens when you’re noticibly different in more ways than one: you can try to become anonymous (horrendously unsuccessful for me) or you can run with it. The second worked. I did gymnastics and dance so that being different was ok . . . it’s GOOD if a dancer or a gymnast has a bit of unusual that makes people look, even if that same unusual gets her called all sorts of terrible names at school. I began public speaking about my disability and fearlessly confronting crowds of people who had the same ideas about when bullying is ‘ok’ and ‘understandable’. Not everyone can do the “unflinching relentless telling people that what they do to punish people for being different is not ok” thing, but it was empowering for me. If my light was going to shine anyway, may as well use it for good, right?

And I found ways to make every day just a bit easier. If you’re weird and try to blend in, everyone is like “oh look at that weirdo”. If you’re weird and wear a dragon on your ear and bright colored shirts that say Unstoppable Force on the front and Immoveable Object on the back (to pick an example totally at random from my drawer), then people assume that ‘weird’ is confident. And the dragon or the elf ears or what have you allow me to put myself in a headspace of “I am the protagonist in a high fantasy novel”. That sounds weird, but it takes up a lot less mental energy than “whyyyyyy do I not understand that person it must be my problem”, a thing that neurodivergent girls are raised to believe is true. A bit of every day whimsy helps me cope *and* makes people assume that I’m infinitely more awesome than I actually am.

Urban fantasy and dance: it really works for me.

Wearing the Wrong Uniform

Someday soon I want to talk uniforms with you. More and more, I find myself reaching for the same favorite pieces to put together in different ways. I’m wearing three of those pieces below: my Loft jacket,* a Campbell & Kate button front, and a pair of khakis.

my uniform
I wore this same outfit to an evening LinkedIn workshop last week, and I did NOT blend in with the after-work crowd of professional women. The khakis were too casual. Black pants or a dark skirt would have been better, but I don’t own a pair of black pants, and it was too cold for a skirt.

So it was obvious that I hadn’t just come from the office, and I felt a little sheepish about that. However, I couldn’t do anything about it, so I decided just to make myself friendly to the women around me, and I ended up learning good things about LinkedIn and meeting some really nice people.

This of course reminded me of the great advice about standing out that the Panache giveaway entrants have sent me, and this is the week I’m going to begin sharing them. So even though Mia, Leah and I will be spending time with family instead of writing for the rest of the week, be sure to visit Hourglassy for a daily dose of inspiration from your fellow readers.


*In the end, this jacket and the denim pencil skirt were the only pieces I kept from my Loft shopping trip. I know this jacket is now too big, so if I figure out how to make it more fitted, I’ll be writing about the alterations here!

Full Bust Find: Byron Lars Mona Dress

You’ve already read my rave about the Byron Lars pieces that I tried at a discount store this summer. Today I’m going to rave about the Mona dress from Beguile by Byron Lars that I tried at Anthropologie last week.

I only took it to the dressing room because it was Byron Lars. I wasn’t particularly interested in the dress itself, but once I took it off the hanger, I found an amazing detail that makes this dress a D+ winner: Wide hooks. Between every. Single. Button. Hole. (This detail makes the dress a winner for those of us with poochy tummies, too!)

big bust help inside beguile byron lars dress

Here is a closeup of my 32FF chest in the size 8 dress. I estimate that there is plenty of room for at least two  cup sizes up.

busty closeup front beguile byron lars dress

Here’s how the rest of it looked on me. I loved that it was form-fitting without being clingy, and I felt super secure with the buttons and hooks.

bust friendly 2 front views beguile byron lars dress

back of bust friendly beguile byron lars dress

The main negative cited by reviewers is a tendency for the crocheted fabric to snag, although I expect the loose weave also means that each snag could be easily fixed.

This dress is also available in petite, but they didn’t carry it in the store I visited.  I’d be curious to try the 12P to see if I prefer that length and if it still fit my bust.

Finally, because I’m partial to clean finishes, here’s an image of what the lining looks like from the inside.

lining inside beguile byron lars dress