Brains, Boobs and the Boy’s Club

 

You know today’s guest writer as Fairy Bra Mother #6, and today’s post is a perfect follow-on to yesterday’s links about cleavage and boob boundaries.  If you can relate to Megan’s story (or even just empathize with it), we want to hear from you in the comments.

As a young girl, I wanted nothing more than to sing and dance, play dress up, do my hair, and revel in the warm glow of the spotlight. I loved being the center of attention – and honestly, I thought it was pretty cool that my breasts started to fill in pretty early. I relished the opportunity to wear a training bra! In fact, once I started, I pretty much wore a bra every day – regardless of whether I had much to hold up.

Fast forward a few years, and I make it to college – and by now, I do have something to hold up. It became a point of contention with my mom, actually, who seemed mildly resentful of my more ample cuppage. I knew that there was no way I could be wearing the right size – 34C-D (these days, a 28F/30E), but I made do. I didn’t really like having my breasts being the center of attention, so I figured, no big deal if the bra fits right or not. Plus, going to a mostly-male engineering school meant that pretty much no matter the bra size, my breasts still set me apart from the crowd.

I took a job at a research facility on campus, and spent the entire 3 weeks before I started stressing out about what to wear. Since it was a research facility, and there was a considerable amount of manual labor involved, I figured that I could wear clothes that were neat – but easily cleaned. Nice polo shirts, button downs, clean pants, whatever. Clearly, though, I underestimated the real issues that I would face, far beyond stain removal or durability: how do you dress to impress, but not flirtatiously suggest?

I wanted to be taken seriously, but still feel like a girl. I constantly had to prove that I wasn’t just an equal opportunity hire – I could really do as well as, if not better than, the boys at my position. The cracks about girls were horrifying – that we didn’t belong, that we were no good at anything mechanical, that we were only good for making the office “look nice”. It all hurt, especially since I applied for the job because I thought that my skills would be a great fit – I could already do much of what the job required, and have a proven record of being a quick learner. Unfortunately, it was made clear relatively quickly that, skills or not, I was just there for show.

I started out dressing way too nice compared to pretty much everyone else – and tight polo shirts (actually, tight anything) just made me uncomfortable. I constantly felt watched. I’m sure that putting on a suit of armor would have made me feel better, but the thought of the chaffing horrifies me. Since I at this point was still not really wearing the right size bra, I ended up covering up as much as I could, and downplaying my “assets” with sports bras. I know that I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of now – but as the new girl, trying to fit in, the stares were overwhelming.

If I could go back and do it again, or tell my younger self something, it’s that I have nothing to hide or apologize for. I like the way I look – and I’m proud of the fact that I can not only look fabulous in a skin-tight, curve-emphasizing dress, but I can also change my own oil, shoot trap, cook a gourmet meal, and most importantly, be a good, kind, intelligent person. I have to wonder if wearing the right size bra would’ve really helped – since I know now that I stand much taller when I wear a great bra. I only stayed at that job for about 8 months – and I was so happy to leave. I traded getting dirty and being put down for a great gig in an office setting where looking good was something to be proud of.

While I doubt that the right size bra would have completely solved my problems with that particular job, I actually do think that it would’ve helped me feel better enough about myself to not be so unhappy. The environment was such a boys club – but I’m not a boy, and I’m proud of who I am. If I need a good bra to help me stand tall and muster up the confidence to be respected at work, then I think it’s worth every penny. If this sounds like your job, all I can say is that you’ve got to love yourself, and wear what makes you feel like a million bucks, because that confidence is everything in helping you deal with a difficult work environment. Get a professional fitting, and don’t ever apologize for what you’ve got, brains, boobs, and all.

Business Briefing and Large Bust Reading Roundup

 

You’ll find my Hourglassy posts to be a little sporadic this week–after Sunday’s photo shoot, I’m working to update the Campbell & Kate website to begin taking pre-orders for my second production run.  Here’s one of the photos that I really like.  My model is wearing a Prima Donna Satin in 32F and a Campbell & Kate in 8M.  (A gazillion thanks to Claudia‘s husband Alejandro Barragan of Unleashed Vision for making this possible!)

With Curve beginning today, I’ve got a lot on my plate. (Remember to give Leah and me your questions to ask the companies we talk to!)

I’ve also had “Made in U.S.A.” on my mind lately, prompted in part by this article in The Wall Street Journal  about what goes into a $155 price tag for a polo shirt, as well as a post by Holly over at TheFullFiguredChest about why we should support independent lingerie designers who produce locally.  As someone who produces here in the United States, I have mixed views on the topic that I am looking forward to discussing with you soon.

Things have been so non-stop that I’ve barely had time to catch up on posts from my favorite bloggers with big busts, but here are a few that have caught my eye recently:

  • Anything by June at Bralessinbrasil . . . if you’ve ever complained about having a hard time finding bras, her post about Living in a Bra-Desert will make you grateful for what you have!
  • After a short hiatus, Sophia Jenner is back with a vengeance this February; check out her latest on whether celebrities make bad bra role models (what does she think about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, I wonder?).
  • I confess that my eyes have begun to glaze over at all the bra reviews out there (is that sacrilege?), so I really perk up when I find dress reviews, such as  (1) CurvyWordy’s wrap dress finds that look good even with camis and are super versatile; and
    (2) MissUnderpinnings’ great dress series (I especially appreciate her refusal to set hard and fast rules– “I tried so hard to make basic ‘rules’ for these posts, i.e. ‘no empire waist cuts’. Then I’d find some slammin’ empire waist dress that seemed to really flatter.”)
  • MissUnderpinnings also has a great post about defining boob boundaries, and you should read it together with ButterflyCollection’s almost scholarly post about cleavage.

Since the last two posts that I mention deal with the challenges of living in a world mesmerized by big boobs, it seems appropriate that tomorrow’s post will be about Megan‘s experience as the only woman in an otherwise all-male office.