It’s a twofer Tuesday today as we continue our Panache giveaway-inspired series. Today’s tips come from two women who are accustomed to being the center of attention.
I’ve always been a person who likes to be the center of attention, so for me, standing out is usually a good thing. I’m usually the brightest (and biggest) person in a room, and I know now that taking up space in the world isn’t a bad thing. Women are conditioned to take up as little space as possible, by staying small and thin, by pressing their legs together on public transit, by apologizing for just existing. I don’t have the option of making myself small, so I embrace it. I’m going to stand out anyway, so why not do it with a little style (and perhaps a rainbow raincoat and some hot pink boots)?
If you stand out accidentally, think about why it’s making you uncomfortable. Is it because of the way people are reacting to you – or the way you THINK they are reacting to you? I have come to realize that even though I try to stand out, most people are focusing too much on their own business to worry about what others are doing. If you’re feeling weird because you’re the only one in stripes when everyone else is in solids, take a second and really think about whether they care or not. They probably don’t! And if they do – that’s their problem, not yours!
How do I deal with standing out?
I have never had a problem standing out because of who I am on the inside. I was that smart girl in class that talked a little too much. I like being in charge and leading groups. As long as people are focused on what think or what I am doing, I am happy and comfortable, and I don’t mind the attention at all.
I am still working on being comfortable with the attention I get from my body. I have large boobs (usually 34HH), and this is almost always the first thing people notice about me. I wanted people to take me seriously and listen to what I had to say so I used to always try to cover up or hid my boobs. But, I was not happy with how I looked. I almost never ever wore dresses because I could not find any that fit properly. I felt fat or frumpy; never polished and put-together.
Over the years I have discovered clothes designed for large breasted women (YES!). I can now look fabulous, sophisticated or sexy. I love these clothes. I love how they make me look. I love how I feel in them… most of the time.
Sometimes I still struggle with the attention I get, especially when I am wearing a more form-fitting outfit. I love walking down the street knowing that I look good, but I am also constantly bracing for the unwelcome comments from strangers. I will never understand why a stranger thinks they need to comment on my boobs. My “favorite” comment is someone telling me that I have large boobs. Geez thanks for pointing that out; I had no idea because I have never looked in a mirror before.
Still, I won’t let random strangers dictate what I wear or ruin my day. I will still walk down the street with my head held high wearing some awesome outfit, and if a stranger makes some inappropriate comment… screw them. If they can’t see past my looks to see what a fabulous person I am, then they don’t deserve a second thought. And while I don’t always follow my own advice, I will keep trying until I get there.