At the end of every fall, I wonder why I don’t continue to wear dresses into the cold weather. After all, it’s simply a matter of throwing on some tights to keep my legs warm. A few hours after I throw those tights on, however, I remember why: Saggy Crotch Syndrome.

I love the way that tights polish a look, but once I feel them sliding past my crotch, I feel anything but polished. I feel grumpy and messy.  Last October, I felt so grumpy and messy while on the Upper West Side that I took a detour into Town Shop to see if they had any stay-up tights. I was even willing to purchase something from Wolford if I had to. I’d heard wonderful things about them but could never bring myself to pay so much money for something I would probably run after a few wears.

Sure enough, the sales assistant directed me to the Wolford Fatal 80 Seamless Stay-Up in size small. After paying $48, the stockings stayed unopened in my lingerie drawer for the next month because I was afraid they’d be too small and I wouldn’t be able to return them. The size chart said to measure my thigh to find my size, and my thigh measurement said I was a medium.

wolford fatal 80 seamless stay-up

Even after I exchanged them for a medium, it took me several weeks to work up the courage to take them out of the package! My grumpy mood was long gone, and I wondered if I really needed $48 stockings–until I realized that once again I had given up on wearing dresses or skirts.

The verdict? I like them.

  • Because my cuticles get so snaggy in the winter, I wear little plastic gloves to put them on. I’ve worn the stockings several times, and still no runs.
  • Twisted Crotch Syndrome is even worse than Saggy Crotch Syndrome, but with these stockings, that”s not an issue either. There’s no having to align toes with calf with thigh with crotch!
  • I’m 5’3″, and they’re borderline long on me. See how they end well within the model’s thighs in the photo above? On me, they keep going until they can’t go any higher. I could probably get away with a size small after all, but fortunately the medium doesn’t give me baggy elephant knees.
  • Even though they aren’t officially “tights”, they’re as opaque as any of my official tights. And happily, they even come in other colors.
  • It’s true. They really, really do stay up. I do NOT feel grumpy and messy five hours after putting them on. In fact, I would gladly work from home in them if I weren’t petrified of runs.
wolford silicone for stay up stockings
Here you can see the wide, thick band of silicone that keeps the stockings firmly in place without cutting off circulation.

Now that I have the right tights to throw on under dresses, I should get more wear out of my Urkye Mala dress . . . except there’s another problem–I’ve decided the length looks frumpy on me. I wanted to hem it for today to give you a before-and-after, but I need to find someone with a serger first. Instead, check out this before-and-after photo that I discovered through Already Pretty. It’s given me the kick I needed  to take care of this!