I must say that writing for Hourglassy has done wonders for my self esteem.  Although it isn’t always easy, in the past couple of years I’ve learned how to find things that fit my busty body and I’m simply more proud to be big boobed Mia.  Unfortunately , there is one are where I daily want to take my breasts off and set them on the shelf: Sleeping is becoming more and more painful.  I am a woman that needs her sleep.  I love the way I feel after a night of sweet, deep sleep, but my breasts are constantly waking me up out of my sleep, turning me into a puffy-faced growling beast in the morning.  Everyone around me can tell when I haven’t slept well, and they know to deal with me cautiously.

I learned to deal with not being able to sleep on my stomach, but every once in a while I wake up only to find myself in that position.  I’m immediately pissed.  I know that because when lying on my stomach, my 32Js create such a sharp angle from my lower spine to my neck that it leaves me in pain for days.  I’ve tried all types of pillow placement under my body, but nothing feels comfortable.

So I tried sleeping on my right side, but I can only do that if I have no food or drink at least 3 hours before bed because I have GERD–an acid reflux  that can only be described as opening up a flowing lava-road to hell via your esophagus.

Until this week that left me with two viable options–sleeping on my back or sleeping on my left side.  I learned quickly that if I lie down wearing anything that places my breasts correctly on my chest, be it a bra or nightie, I feel like I can’t catch my breath after five minutes.  The weight of my huge boobs on my upper chest is just too much to bear lying down.  It feels like they are these evil orbs conspiring to “choke me out” in my sleep.

All things being as they were I’ve been sleeping on my left side every night.  Do you know what happens when runners who put their joints to a regular workout try to sleep very still in the exact same position every night?  Yup, aching joints.  To be specific, my left hip has started to bother me every time I lie down to go to sleep.

I really don’t know how much longer I can take this.  I can deal with and have in fact embraced my large breasts in all aspects of my life but I cannot live in restless pain just to prove that I’m proud of being busty.  I’ve decided that I will try strengthening other areas of my body, especially my core, and drop these extra 20 pounds that I know put extra weight on my joints while I’m running.  I’m giving it until my birthday (New Years Eve) to see how much improvement there is.

If there isn’t significant improvement, I will be getting a breasts reduction.  I will still be an Hourglassy woman though.  Y’all will still have to put up with my Midwest, Southern fried, New Yorker banter.  I’m not interested in being small, just smaller and more manageable.  I’d love to never again elbow myself in my own boob while lying in bed.  I hope that by the time my birthday rolls around, there’s enough improvement that I won’t have to go under the knife, but if I do, I’ll be taking you all on the journey with me.