Today’s post comes from Jame, the guest poster who showed us a great bust-friendly dress from Target last August, and a synopsis of the Me-Ality Body Scanner last year. (Look for Mia’s post tomorrow, after the Halloween craziness ends.) It was a fun surprise to receive Jame’s tweet earlier this week saying that she has something to say on the Redefining Sexy theme. Keep reading for a thought-provoking treat.

I am a little late to the party on the “Redefining Sexy” theme of October, as I am weeks behind in catching up on Feedly. I was looking at the posts from other busty women and wanting to be able to claim their cleavage with no judgement.

Being busty can mean you are automatically perceived as sexy.  No matter how covered (or not covered) up you are.  I think this is compounded even more if you are busty and black.

Ever since I was little, I have always loved the classic looks of the “Hitchcock blondes.” Or Grace Kelly.  Or more recently Michelle Obama and Kate Middleton.  I probably have really old taste–I’ve been coveting a Kelly bag since I was a preteen (I am in my 30s).  😀

Quick: what’s your mental image of a “sexy black woman?”

I am sure many of you saw Rihanna, or Beyonce, or maybe a King magazine model.  In many ways, being a black woman, I am supposed to be “sexy,” in a “wild” or “exotic” way.  Or maybe it is really just in a Jezebel way.  Or completely asexual, since I am the funny friend (just look at the controversy around Gabby Sidibe this week based on the recent episode of American Horror Show).  There isn’t any middle ground.

How many of you saw something like this:

dorothy dandridge image source:

For me, I have always found the pinup look or the sexy secretary look with a pencil skirt/blouse/pointy pumps one of my favorite expressions of sexy.  But I rarely see women who look like me depicted as sexy in this way.  Especially when you look what’s current these days. We don’t often see images of the “sexy black girl next door.” Unless she looks like one of those video vixens.

Back in the 90s, there was a wide range of “sexy” black women in pop culture.  We had everyone from the ladies on Living Single, Girlfriends, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Different World, Cosby Show, En Vogue, Salt n’ Pepa, TLC, and of course the video vixens to represent sexy.  But somehow, with the passing of time, all we get are now are the Housewives, Love and Hip Hop ladies and King models.

I guess for me, sexy is having the freedom to choose your own definition of sexy, whether you chose to imitate Rihanna, Beyonce, Dorothy Dandridge, Janelle Monae or Michelle Obama.