According to “Spring Trends 101” in the March 2009 issue of Real Simple magazine, full-breasted women don’t have much to look forward to in the months ahead.

First, fuchsia: “Avoid this bright on top if you’re busty . . . . “

Next, the boyfriend blazer: “. . . avoid this trend if you have a large chest, because it will subtract from the desired roomy fit.”

The jumpsuit: “Best for women with tall, lean frames. Anyone who is bottom- or top-heavy should steer clear.”

Finally, the messenger handbag: “Forgo this style if you have a large bust, since the bag won’t lie comfortably . . . .”

What’s left? Accessories with grommets and studs (but only if you’re under 40), nudes and snakeskin shoes. I think I’ll stick with Real Simple for organizing ideas rather than fashion input.