Today and tomorrow’s posts are like thinking you’ve finished opening all of your birthday presents only to discover two more that were forgotten in someone’s car. I don’t know how I overlooked them, but I’m delighted to be able to share them with you. The first comes from Bras I Hate, an irreverant and, as the author describes it, “new(ish) blog focusing on brutally honest reviews and tips to help everyone find the best bra for them”.
She brings yet another angle to what it can be like growing up with big boobs. Here is the context for her letter:
I want to explain that this letter might seem a little weird because my experience was pretty different from most people when I was a preteen/teenager. I never got anyone staring at my boobs, commenting on them, or anything—it was like no one noticed. I assumed that everyone hated big boobs because I’d never met a guy who said he liked them. This made me struggle with my self-esteem for years. … [T]his is the letter I wish someone would have sent me when I was that age.
Dear D+ Girl,
So it seems like suddenly you have big boobs. Maybe it’s not even sudden—maybe it sort of took awhile and they crept on you and you didn’t notice them getting so big, but now you start to think maybe they are; maybe they’re huge.
It’s going to be a bit of an adjustment. Here’s the truth: somehow you’re going to have to put more effort into looking nice than any of the smaller-chested girls you know. And a lot of the time, those girls will be the ones getting the attention. They’ll talk about how guys are always looking at their boobs. And then you’ll feel weird because guys aren’t looking at your boobs. Why aren’t they looking?
The fact is that they are looking. They’re looking a lot and some of them would love to date you, even if you find that hard to believe. You just don’t notice them looking because they’re good at hiding it, and you’re not expecting it. At least not noticing this will spare you years of feeling stared at.
Don’t worry, it’s normal to want to get attention for the body part that you’re spending so much time trying to clothe and support. It’s normal to hope that you’ll at least have a bit of an edge in getting the attention of the people you’ve got crushes on. And then maybe those guys will have a loud conversation in front of you about how they’re “a butt guyâ€, or you’ll notice that they only date very skinny flat-chested girls. And then you’ll wonder, does anyone like big boobs? Where’s all the hype coming from if no one likes them?
Well, here’s what you need to remember. There ARE a lot of guys (and girls) out there who PREFER big boobs to small ones. Don’t ever forget it. Sure, everyone has a type, and not every guy is obsessed with boobs. But there are plenty who appreciate them. It’s not a deal breaker either way for most people, but you will find someone who loves you for you AND loves your boobs. And that’s good because they’re a part of you.
Even if you hate them right now, even if you hate them for YEARS, they are still YOURS. They belong to you. And someday, you will find yourself willing to defend them. Then you’ll realize that you don’t mind them anymore—that you’d miss them more if they went away because you’re so used to them now. And maybe someday you’ll even start to love them, and I hope you will, because I know now how much fun that can be.
It might take along time to feel normal with this. But it’s going to get better. It’s going to be alright.
Love,
Your Fairy Bra Mother
I love this letter so much!
It really sums up how I felt about my bust when I was younger. The guys in high school made fun of my boobs, so I hid them for years. Then I got into college and was like, “wait…guys actually LIKE these?”