When I figured out that I’d missed Boosaurus’s Fair Bra Mother letter, she tweeted, “It’s all right . . . it wasn’t a particularly enlightening letter compared to the others!”Â Read it and disagree.Â In just a few paragraphs, she captures the experiences that so many of us had growing up . . . and still have sometimes.Â That’s why her conclusion made me want to stand up and cheer–for myself and every other woman who has ever felt ostracized from beautiful bras and clothing because of body shape.
Here’s the background for her letter:
The letter I wrote echos some of my own experiences. I spent most of my teenage years squeezed into poorly-fitting bras that caused me a lot of pain, and I now have a passion for helping others find correctly fitting bras! As a 28GG, finding bras for myself can be a challenge, but I’m learning more and more about what works for me in the process.
Read more about that process on Boosaurus’s recently launched blog!
Dear Former Self,
I want to tell you something important.
I saw you back there in Victoria’s Secret. You were looking longingly at the rows upon rows of pretty, lacey bras, bras that promised to make you look sexy, give you amazing cleavage, and even increase your bust by at least two cup sizes! All your friends wear bras like these, and you wanted to fit in and feel pretty and sexy, too. After a while, you managed to gather up your courage and ask one of the girls working there if they had anything in your size – which you thought might be a 34E. And they just laughed at you and told you that a 34E doesn’t exist. So you quickly left, embarrassed and ashamed, wondering what was wrong with your body.
You then went into a generic department store, where the saleslady pointed far past the rows of pretty little lacy bras to a small row of large, ugly, beige contraptions. She told you that those were your only options. And again, for the hundredth time, you left the store in defeat, wondering why you were such a freak. You’ve been considering a breast reduction for months now.Â “Why can’t I wear pretty things like all the other 15-year-olds?” you asked yourself tearfully.
Let me tell you something straight away – you are NOT a freak.
Think outside the basic offerings of departments stores. There are other places that will do a better job of measuring your bra size – or better yet, you can measure yourself at home using a tape measure and a little math. You don’t have to rely on snarky salesgirls and unknowledgeable fitters. You might find that you’re a size no one’s heard of – say a 30G – but just because the media and our culture have skewed ideas about bra sizes and body types doesn’t mean that you’re weird or huge or porn-starish for having a cup size over a C, or that you should feel like you have to surgically alter your body so you can fit into “regular” clothes. Even if all your friends say these things to you. And you know what? Real friends wouldn’t try to make you feel trashy or worthless like that.
I know how hard it is to find clothes and bras that are pretty and look nice, but don’t feel like you’re forever doomed to hiding your figure under those baggy t-shirts. I’m not saying things will be instantly easier once you figure out what size and what bras work best for you; you might find that it’s impossible to find your bra size in stores in your area and be forced to order online, and there’s still going to be a lot of clothes you won’t be able to fit into. But good news – there’s a wide variety of good bras you can find online, along with clothes just for larger-busted girls. And yes, there are PRETTY bras in your size!
I know itâ€™s hard. Itâ€™s hard to feel youâ€™re different. It’s hard when everyone seems to be telling you that you’re wrong and weird for not fitting in with “everyone else”.
But you’re not weird. You’re not strange. You’re not alone.
And you are beautiful.
Your Fairy Bra Mother