It’s taken me a year and a half, but I finally tried on bra-sized bikinis yesterday. Interestingly, I loved them in the mirror, but I’m aghast at them in the photos. Maybe this is one case where a digital camera is NOT a busty woman’s best friend when it comes to shopping.
My chest looks amazing in every one of them. I’m even kind of okay with my tummy. However, I’m struggling with my upper arms. When did they get that big, and why don’t swimming suits come with sleeves? If there were a shrug for swimsuits, I’d buy it. (Did you notice how much of my arm I cropped out of yesterday’s picture?)
Before I share the images with you, I need to deal with the disconnect between what I prefer to imagine that I look like and what I actually look like. That’s because the air-brushed images that we love to hate are no longer my standard for what I should look like. Instead, I have a new unattainable standard:Â amazing-looking bloggers in their twenties who know how to pose for the camera. I need to get okay with not meeting this standard.
It may not be too difficult–the only reason I’m thinking about swimsuits right now is because of an upcoming vacation. On the beach. With a pool. For two weeks. Every happy swimming suit memory that I have is surfacing as I prepare for this trip. When I wear a swimming suit, my hair is stringy and wet, and I don’t have any makeup on. If I’m not going to worry about my hair and face, why should I care about my big arms?
Of course I’d like to look back at pictures of this vacation and think, “Wow! Did I ever look good in that swimsuit!” But more than anything, I want to look at the photos and think, “Wow! Did we ever have fun! We sure were carefree! We sure laughed a lot.”
—————-
Since I plan to be carefree at the beach the last two weeks of June, would you like to send me some of your happy swimsuit stories to share on Hourglassy while I’m away? It can be anything swimsuit-related that makes you smile–a recent purchase (pics and/or link please), a game you used to play in the pool, a favorite vacation, a challenge that you overcame. Basically, I’m looking for anything that reminds us to associate our swimming suits with self-abandon rather than self-consciousness. If you have anything to share, please email it to me at darlene [at] hourglassy [dot] com with “swimsuit” in the subject line. Also let me know what name you’d like me to use and if you have a blog you’d like me to link to.
—————
This is my best swimming suit memory of all time. I found the suit in a department store in Thailand before we went to Malaysia when I was in 8th grade. We were living in the Philippines then, and my parents saved two years worth of vacation money to take my brother and me to the places we used to vacation in when we lived in Vietnam.
When you’re in the deep end, who really cares what you’re wearing?
The pool where my dad taught me how to swim when I was five (the Cercle Sportif in Saigon).
Junior year in high school with my two best friends. My green suit was a Roxanne, the first cup-sized suit I’d ever found. I think this may have been a C. The friend with her head on my lap had borrowed my second-favorite suit of all time. It was purple with flowers up the middle.
you looked so different back then! but one can definitely tell it is you by your smile 🙂
Yes, I sort of cheated by only using pictures of happy times when I was in my teens and younger!
so cute!
I anm sure your arms are fine-but they so make swim shirts with zippers up the front so you dont have to struggle with a tight rash guard and you can leave it open-Lands End has an elbow length version-I find Athletas to be too tight across the chest but I do have one of their longer cover-ups. I am sure you can even find something while you are away. An open, lightweight coverup always works on the beach.
Donna, I am definitely going to look into this. THANK YOU. And it’s so nice to hear from you again!
sorry about the typos
http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=91878&vid=1&pid=906170062
http://www.landsend.com/pp/womens-aquaterra-short-sleeve-zip-front-rash-guard~246779_59.html
They are beautiful photos! Thanks for sharing them with us 🙂 They just radiate summer nostalgia! They’re making *me* feel nostalgic, and they’re not even my memories!
When I’m feeling self-conscious in my swimmers, I take a look around, and what I usually find is that I don’t see anyone else who looks like a swimsuit model either, men included. Then I just get on with having fun with my kids! Their enthusiasm for waves and sand castles is infectious and makes me forget everything else.
Cordelia, I was so nostalgic after posting these that I was pretty much useless for the rest of the afternoon. I like your approach . . . it’s not so much about comparing myself to others in order to feel better–that’s only a tenuous security because it would only take someone with a “better” body entering the scene to remove my confidence. Instead, it’s about seeing others accepting their imperfect selves to encourage me to do the same. And there’s nothing better than the fun of waves and sandcastles to make me forget to care about what I look like!
Ah the swimsuit. Yeah I’m having the same exact problems right now but fror my health I can’t avoid it much longer. You see I have the internal organ and joint destroying immune disease Rhuematoid Arthritis. So my drs want me in the pool. Since I don’t have a private pool that means the gym.
My solution and I sure hope it works was to order 3 separate pieces to use togather. A retro style high wasted bikini bottom with tummy control, a retro style high waisted swim skirt with adjustable ruching on both sides and a cup sized bikini top. Both bottom parts are black and the top is a print with a retro butterfly print with a black outline. Hoping my theme will work out and that I will be able to buy different tops to go with the bottoms. My orders should arrive next week. Oh I hope they all fit.
I’m super nervous about the whole body image thing. I’ve always been curvy but super slim until I got sick and drs pumped me full of steroids which I turned out to be allergic to. 30 pounds later I am still struggling with the weight. I have to be very careful with my nutrition with my disease so no crash dieting allowed.
You are not alone. Here’s to feeling better about ourselves no matter what.
I understand where you’re coming from: steroid/Hashimotos/Celiac girl here.
I had good luck with a Speedo one piece suit-of all things. Very comfy and flattering, great coverage, and a soft cup to boot.
I looked at bunches of shorts and rash guards, and after a weekend at a resort (and 110 heat and sun) I may order one so I don’t have to slather on a ton of sunblock every 30 minutes. Only problem – I’d need a bikini top and some sort of bottom. Ugh. More decisions.
I also Have RA–which is why I need the coverups–the meds make me sensitive to UV rays-I burn in the shade! For the pool I find a one piece better-I have been using a suit from Lands End for the last few yrs-underwire-modest-cup sized-but not back sized so you have to go by size chart and try a few-I got mine on sale-30 or 40% off-always a sale on them–Carmela suit-and you can put a rash guard over a one piece
TLynn, this sounds like a great combination. Is the top the Freya Madame Butterfly by any chance? That’s one that I tried on and liked.
Yes it is the Freya Madame Butterfly in the plunge style. I’m sure hoping it fits. With the high waisted bottoms I have coming I will have almost one piece coverage. Just a little bit of the narrowest part of me will show so that should be ok I hope.
I hate my arms and my tummy. The tummy should be well covered with the tummy control bottom and the retro skirt over that.
thankfully the pool is indoors so this super super pale skin won’t be exposed to the sun in there just pool chemicals. That’s bad enough
Ok, two of the three pieces arrived today. The top and the skirt. Sadly the bottoms will take longer because I bought them from Rue la la and although the prices can be great shipping is slowwww.
I had to try on what arrived right away of course and even though I really hate my body right now I feel pretty good in these bikini pieces. ( yeah I know I shouldn’t say that about myself, working on it. Kinda why I’m posting about swimsuits). I should say that the last swimsuit I was in consisted of a ill fitting one piece over baggy men’s swim shorts.
Admitting outloud that I might have the shape for the retro bikini. I feel a Betty Page vibe in this suit and it makes me happy. It didn’t hurt that my husband thought it was pretty hot :).
The high waisted skirt comes to just above the waist and really accentuates that area. Hubby really likes that. What can I say he’s an artist so he notices different things. I’m really lucky, he likes to shop with me too.
I will try to get the courage to take a photo when the bottoms arrive.
In the meantime the skirt I got from an etsy seller. Can I say which one here? I love it and its well made. It should hold up well. The Freya bathing suit top fits perfectly. I’ve never owned a cup sized bathing suit top before. What a difference! I feel supported and don’t look or feel so top heavy even in a 32g yay!
All in all I think successful purchases.
This is so exciting to hear! Of COURSE you can say where you bought the skirt. I’m dying to know because I may get the same bikini top and want a skirt like yours.
I’ve owned cup-sized swimwear before, but only in tankinis and one-pieces, and none were as supportive as the bikini tops I tried the other day. I feel so slumpy in the swimsuits that kind of keep me in place but don’t really lift. However, I’m also going to look into the Panache Isobel one-piece because it may have the same kind of band-support as the Isobel bikini top. THANKS SO MUCH for the update!!!
Wonderful! I purchased my high waisted swim skirt from Etsy seller Avabelledesigns. I ordered th Greta skirt in a large. My hips are measuring at 44″ right now and honestly I am pretty sure I could still wear this comfortably if I gained 20lbs. I will have to order a smaller skirt if I continue to lose weight. Finger crossed on that count. My high waisted tummy control bottom should arrive on Monday.
Darlene, after a weekend at a resort and seeing girls and women of all shapes and sizes parading around with equal confidence – I think it’s time I put some of my insecurities aside. I’m no different from everyone else, and that’s just fine. The most attractive ladies were the ones having the most fun, and dang it, that’s going to be ME this weekend.
A smile and a laugh really does make you look good.
Yes!!!