When I compared Catherine Tate to Christina Hendricks last month and said that Tate owns her boobs, my husband looked at me in alarm. “Are Christina Hendricks’ boobs fake?” he asked. I assured him they were very real, but then I couldn’t explain what I meant. This post is an attempt to do that.
One way to think about it is the difference between renting and owning. When I rent a car, I blast the air conditioner before the car’s engine has had a chance to warm up, and I would never pay for a car wash. When I own the car, I’m much more gentle with the engine, and I’ll invest in keeping the car clean. When I rented an apartment, I never made permanent changes to it, but now that we own our home, I’ve installed a nice closet system, painted the bedroom and even planted tulips for the last five years. Along these lines, a woman who owns her boobs takes responsibility for them. She makes sure she has the right bras even though they cost a lot, and instead of baggy tee shirts, she wears the best-fitting clothes she can find.
But that analogy only touches the surface. Here’s another comparison–getting a present. When it’s a present I want, I effusively thank the giver and show it off to everyone. I put it somewhere safe. I smile whenever I look at it. On the other hand, when it’s something I don’t want, my thanks are merely polite, I only show it to someone if they ask to see it, and I store it in the attic until I think it’s safe to re-gift or sell at a yard sale without the giver finding out. Along these lines, a woman who owns her boobs acts like she’s glad they’re part of her and figures out how to show them to their best advantage. But the woman who doesn’t own her boobs is always looking at what other women got and wishing she’d been given the same thing. She won’t accept what she actually has, and it shows in the way she talks about her body, dresses and stands.
With boobs, it’s all about a certain attitude. As I thought about writing this post, I realized that even though we own a car, there are times when it is incredibly dirty, the windshield wipers need changing, and the tires need inflating. To look at the state of our house right now, you would never know I have pride of ownership. It’s a mess. And the same can be true of boobs. Sure we technically own them at all times, but sometimes we forget to act like we do–like when we wear stretched-out bras or those infamous baggy tees.
And even though most of us are grateful for our size, boob ownership is also a process. As an adolescent, I would gladly have traded my body for a smaller-busted model. And even today, after shopping at a store where nothing fits my chest, I find myself wishing I were less buxom. But wishing I were different happens much less frequently now than it did when I was younger.
Neither of these explanations have fully captured what I had in mind when I compared Tate and Hendricks, but it’s a start. There’s so much more to explore on this subject. However, instead of judging celebrities for whether they do or don’t own their boobs, why don’t we begin with ourselves. Where are you with this right now–do you own your boobs?
I thought this would be a post about large breasts being treated as public property! Anyway, I had a major body image shift a few years ago, while in my mid twenties, when I started appreciating my body for what it can do as opposed to what it looks like. My boobs have changed quite a bit since then, but I still appreciate just the same for being healthy. So, I don’t play them up, but I have no problem in investing in them.
Doh! I meant: I still appreciate THEM just the same for being healthy and I have no problem WITH investing in them.
Boobs as public property is a GREAT idea. Will you write about it on Les Gros Bonnets so that I can link to it?
On the subject of public boob, there’s a documentary and a book named “Breasts, our most public private parts” by Meema Spadola, it dates from last century.
http://www.sugarpictures.com/Films/Breasts.html
http://www.amazon.com/Breasts-Most-Public-Private-Parts/dp/1885171277
I got the documentary (on book and VHS!) and they both interview a bunch of women with a wide variety of breasts and how they “shaped” their lives 🙂
Love the analogy on “owning” your boobs and treating them as a desired gift 🙂
Maybe some time, but I’m planning to write on lighter stuff (reviews, rants and a little linguistic fun) in the near future. Stay tuned!
Darlene, what a great post once again! I loved the comparison. 🙂 It’s hard to think of it that way at times because it’s so easy to neglect yourself when your time/money have other demands but it is important to take care of your body (and your breasts are definitely part of that!) instead of pining after another one.
In my case I just wish all the updates for ownership didn’t have such long shipping times, it makes upkeep difficult!
I think “owning” your breasts is a process, one that pretty much every woman has struggled with. I know several women who never really came to terms with their breasts. Others struggle with breasts that feel too larger (or small) for them, feel deflated after pregnancy or weight loss. I think that for some of these women, taking steps like surgery helps them own their boobs. I think we all have different limits for what we are willing to do to “own” our breasts, some stop at paying a ton extra for well made bras while others are happy with badly constructed VS bras. Some are willing to surgically alter their body while others push them up, pad them, or minimize them. It is all so very individual, and something each woman has to do on her own. I equate it to other parts of the body that we can more easily change, weight lifting to build a muscular backside, dieting to slim our thighs, eating clean and healthy foods, cardio to maintain our hearts.
Personally, I think I have taken the steps necessary to feel like I own my boobs, they are more to me then then a set of mammary tissue and nipples. I feel like with an augmentation I own my breasts 100x more then what I did previously, just because they have become more to me then a way to feed my children or an object of sexuality. Part of owning your boobs is to balance their purposes, maintain comfort in your body, & to make changes you are comfortable with. Even if those changes means swapping your high necked shirt for a v-neck.