Dear D+ Young Woman,

If you’re anything like I was at your age, you’ve probably experienced a lot of dressing room disappointment, whether it’s being embarrassed to tell your mother that the department store C cups (the largest size in the shop, naturally) are too small; trying on every style bikini you can find, only to realize that not a single one either fits or flatters; wondering why even D-cup bras never feel totally comfortable; or maybe struggling to find a button-up shirt that actually stays closed. You probably feel like a freak of nature. I know I did.

It was a long climb to get out of that “freak” mentality, so I hope my experience can help you pull yourself out of it much sooner. First off, you’re not a freak. Fashion is a trickle-down business: The high fashion you see on runways winds its way down to the fast fashion and department store items that probably populate your wardrobe. And those runway designs are created with one body type in mind: thin, tall, and no curves. The problem is not with you, it’s with a fashion industry that only designs for one shape.

But luckily, it turns out there are actually lots of lesser-known companies out there creating beautiful bras, clothing, and even swimwear with the big bust in mind. These brands will be your saving grace. Unfortunately, prices will probably be higher than “regular” clothes, but something that fits well will last a lot longer than a cheap, ill-fitting item from a chain store. Plus, clothing designed for your body type can make your confidence soar, and bras and swimsuits with real support can eradicate back pain, shoulder strain, and all the unflattering lumps that an ill-fitting garment may create.

Until I started seeking out clothing designed specifically for my shape, I felt self-conscious all the time. I was constantly yanking v-necks up to avoid flashing too much cleavage, or crew neck tees down when my breasts would pull the shirt up and expose my tummy. Wrap dresses, button-up shirts, even polos, had to be pinned shut. At your age, I didn’t want to show off my chest, but avoiding it was hard to do without swimming in swathes of fabric.

Whatever you do, don’t get discouraged! Once again, the problem is not you, it’s the lazy fashion designers who can’t be bothered to consider that women come in lots of shapes and sizes. If you don’t live in a city with diverse enough shopping choices, then forget the mall and turn to the internet instead. It’s not only full of better shopping options, but also loads of girls and women with the same body type as you. They’re a wealth of advice, suggestions, and reviews of the clothes that will fit and flatter your beautiful shape. Once you start looking, you may be surprised by how common your shape is after all.

Love,

Your Fairy Bra Mother