The fitting for my niece Hillary (not her real name) was actually a two-stage process–or three if you count my post-fitting analysis at the end of this piece.
This occurred in the big dressing room that Hillary, her little sister and I shared at Marshall’s on Sunday. When it was Hillary’s turn to try on the shirt she’d brought in, she began to try it on over the shirt she’d worn to the store.
I probably made her self-consciousness worse when I asked her to take off her original shirt and stand sideways in front of the mirror. Below is the bra that she was wearing. It’s by a brand I didn’t recognize, and the label said “36A Girls”.
I gently (I hope!) showed her how the band rode up in the back and explained that no amount of tugging was going to keep it down. Then I asked her to raise her arms and showed her how the cups rode across the bottom of her breasts. Actually, she didn’t even need to raise her arms for that to happen! I ended my lecture by showing her how the sides of her breasts needed to be contained in the cups. Then I gave her a break.
We went to Magic Corsets and Lingerie because I really liked the owner when I bought my Anita sports bra there. Also, it’s not every boutique that can pull two different 34H sports bras off the shelf, so I knew they’d have enough inventory to accurately size both my niece and her mother.
The owner wasn’t there when we arrived, so her assistant took charge. Long story short, my thirteen-year-old niece is a 36A.
Long story long, I’m glad I was there. Who cares more than any shopkeeper in the world about proper bra fit for a young woman? In this case, Hillary’s 34H aunt. In your daughters’, nieces’ or sisters’ cases, YOU.
The cups for two of the bras that the assistant said fit her did not lie flat against her breasts. You know those women you see with little half moons above their breasts from the edges of their molded cups pressing against their tee shirts? That would have been my niece! The assistant didn’t have those styles in a 36A, so she gave them to her in a B cup (I don’t remember if it was a 34 or 36 band) and Hillary is definitely not a B cup . . . yet.
She also put her in a gorgeous Italian bra (only $30) that I thought was perfect–until I realized that it was already on the tightest hook. I was disappointed that it was I and not the assistant who pointed this out. They would have altered it for her, but my brother’s family was leaving the next day so there was no time.
At some point, the owner entered the picture and worked her magic. I like the owner even more after this visit. In the end, we bought this Lejaby ($35 on clearance) and Jezebel ($28) for Hillary.
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| I was so surprised that Hillary liked this one the best! However, it has two great features: (a) removable straps and (b) a cut-in at the side of the cups that means the bra won’t show through the armhole of sleeveless tops. There was definitely a little bit of extra room in the cups, so I guess she can grow into it. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but it was her favorite. |
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| Hillary said this Jezebel bra was the most “normal” feeling of them all, so I insisted on buying it for her. Unfortunately, it was only available in leopard. Hillary mostly wears blues and purples, and if she wears white, she wears a camisole underneath, so she should be okay. |
Since the fitting, I’ve had the following questions:
- What have I done??? I put a thirteen-year-old in a leopard print bra to wear to band camp next week!! Is that okay? The fact that there were no pastel options for Hillary leads to my second question.
- Was the store too grown-up? Hillary’s bubbly 11-year-old sister parked on a stool facing a corner because she was so embarrassed by the pictures on the walls. Seeing the store through her eyes, I noticed the sheer body stocking and cupless bra photos for the first time. She later told me that she’d seen something to do with candy, and that was all she was going to say. Her reaction reminds me of Ali Cudby’s Mother’s Day piece. Oops.
- How would I do things differently? I’m still considering this one. The decision to go for a fitting was a spontaneous one, and we had a limited amount of time.
a. If I had had more time to plan, I would have googled parent forums and the like.
b. If I still wanted Magic Corsets after conducting research, I would have prepared my nieces for what they might see in any lingerie store.
c. I would have measured Hillary before we went to the store so that I wouldn’t feel at a disadvantage when the assistant proclaimed that a 34 would be too small for her (her underbust measures 34″, so it may have worked). I also would have had Hillary try some of the bras at Marshall’s the day before so that I had an idea of prices and fit. (Just because $28 and $35 would be a steal for someone who wears a D cup or higher doesn’t mean it’s a good deal for someone who wears an A cup!)
d. I would have made an appointment for the fitting to be done by the owner.
- What would I do the same? I would always begin with a professional fitter. I have a fair idea of what works for me, but when it comes to A cups and padding, I have no idea what is optimal. TweenParent recommends stores like Target or GapBody, but I wouldn’t expect to find an experienced fit expert there. Even though I would go to these stores after the initial fitting, I would suggest that my sister-in-law take Hillary for a follow-up with a professional at least once a year.
I have one more giant question: WHAT SPORTS BRA SHOULD A 36A WEAR?? We didn’t buy one at Magic Corsets because there was too much bounce in the two that Hillary tried (would you make your niece jump up and down like I did?). She needs one soon before she uses her pretty ones for marching band practice and PE in the fall!
I can’t wait to hear your perspectives on this process.
When buying a sports bra, I most certainly would make my sister/niece/daughter jump up and down! My mother used to make us squat and stand in swimming suits to see how much the bottom turned into a string bikini, which is vital for comfort and modesty when it comes to a preteen/teen. I think it's the same concept when it comes to sports bras.
A friend purchased the Anita Momentum sports bra in a 36B and loves it. I don't know if it comes in an A cup though.
This makes me frustrated with the whole industry… I feel your discomfort over buying your niece a leopard-print bra, as well as exposing both girls to the adult sexuality in a lingerie store. But you're right, anywhere "safe" and "family-friendly" is not equipped with trained fitters or a wide selection of sizes. I mean, the only places I can think of are the ones you mentioned… Target, Gap, department stores in general: mass-market retailers that are safe and appropriate for anyone. I'm sure this is one of the reasons why I ended up wearing the wrong bra size through middle and high school – I can't imagine my well-meaning but conservative mother taking me to an actual lingerie store. She looks the other way when walking by Victoria's Secret in the mall! Of course, they're blatantly selling sex, not lingerie… but that's another issue!
Here in Sweden a couple of years ago we had a big debate how awful it was to sell AA, A and B-cup bras with Winnie the Puh and his friends on, and that soft training bra shouldn't be alowed in 10-, 11, 12, 13-years sizes.
I just don't get the problem I'd love wearing something with Eeyore today, only that they do not make them in brittish H-cups. And, I would just find it good to have real bras in children/teen-friendly fabrics, which probably makes it less intimidating if needing a proper bra at a young age…
When it comes to your story I think you've done your best for being your first time. A lot of people never gets a proper fitting bra, and to get that opportunity at that age is great. My first bra was a 32AA (with Winnie the Puh by the way) even though I'd really need a 24D or something like that. With an aunt like you I would probably have worn a well-fitting bra a lot earlier… 🙂
I think your nieces are really lucky to have you giving them this education! So many women never get it. They may have been mortified then, but they'll probably remember the experience with gratitude later.
I understand your nieces' perspective, though, and your uncertainty. When I had to start wearing a bra at… let's see, how old was I? Whatever fifth grade is, or maybe it was between fifth and sixth grade. Anyway, I was horrified at any thought of growing up or — worst of all — "becoming a woman," so I would have strenuously resisted bra shopping, being looked at by a fitter (a stranger, ack!), or entering any kind of "adult" store. The way you approached it might actually have made me feel better (as a question of fit, not "you have these awful lumps on your chest now and something MUST BE DONE")… but then again, it might not; I seem to remember anything breast/puberty/sex-related making me cringe. Still, as I say, I think your nieces will be grateful for this later, and I think you did the right thing.
Thank you for all your insightful and supportive comments. I found this experience to be pretty humbling. You think in your mind about all the things you would do to make a first professional bra fitting the best experience possible, but there are so many factors that I didn't consider beforehand!
I just noticed this post since today’s post linked to it, and I know it’s from last year, but wanted to comment anyway in case you take your nieces bra shopping again. You could try going to Aerie, it is an offshoot of American Eagle, but the stuff they have is all very “Cute” and not so much “sexy”. You’d be more likely to find a bird print or polar bear print as opposed to leopard print. I’d never recommend anyone going there for a fitting per se, But if you have an idea of sizes, they have nice bras for A-C (maybe D now). My sister is technically an E but she has got bras there that she said had nicely firm backs.