On Friday night, 25 friends came out to celebrate my last weekend as a 34F*. I made these cupcakes for the occasion. They were red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting! Yum! We toasted the girls’ passing at a great little spot on Avenue C called The Sunburnt Cow which has an ongoing special of $20 for 2 hours of unlimited drinks, any day of the week, for any two hours. Needless to say, my memory of the occasion is a bit foggy, but from what I can piece together there was a great deal of motorboating going on as I made rounds through the crowd.

My favorite thing about the night was the diverse group–my college crew, my Chicago/Midwest bunch, my best friend from growing up, my roommates, my sister, a couple of people I have worked on music with, and a dear friend I worked with on the UWS when I was a nanny. It meant so much to me to have so many people show up to celebrate such an odd event with me, and I was thrilled to see them all mingling and laughing like old friends. It was a total love-fest.

Another highlight of the festivities was the costume my friend Cally donned–a pair of huge, plush breasts she recycled from a hilarious and obscene Halloween costume from one of our years at Fordham. This picture will give you an idea of how funny she looked:

The breasts are on this little string that hangs around your neck, and before long they were being passed around to everyone at the party.

The party was a great excuse to get my friends together for the last night of debauchery for a little while. Tuesday I go under the knife, and I’ll be spending the following week recovering at my Mom’s house in New Jersey before hopefully going back to *almost* normal after that.

As you all know from reading the column, I initially decided to pursue the surgery route for emotional and intellectual reasons–I don’t like the negative attention they attract, I feel disproportionate, etc.  I never really suffered from noticeable back pain until after I was “adjusted” by a physical therapist in March/April, when I suddenly connected my constant shoulder tightness and neck soreness to the size and weight of my breasts.

Even though the surgery has been deemed “medically necessary,” there is a certain stigma surrounding plastic surgery which makes me feel a bit insecure about asking that my employers and coworkers accommodate my needs post-surgery. It’s still a “boob job,” after all, not a broken arm or herniated disk. My restaurant job is not high up on my list of priorities, but I unfortunately can’t get by without the extra income, so it’s important that I can still work after the surgery, and important (to me) that my coworkers don’t feel taken advantage of if they have to lift some extra trays and bus tubs as I recover.  My post-op instructions specify that I can’t lift anything heavier than a gallon of water for two weeks following surgery, and I’m a little bit worried that my coworkers aren’t going to enjoy doing extra work for me since we pool our tips.

My thoughts are all over the place! I would love to hear your thoughts about this. Is a breast reduction any different from, for instance, a surgery to correct carpel tunnel syndrome?

Finally, in my research I discovered that these celebrities have had breast reductions:

1. Drew Barrymore
2. Queen Latifah
3. Janeane Garofalo
4. Patricia Heaton

I’ll be updating again next week to talk about the surgery and my recovery. Stay tuned and wish me luck!

*Darlene’s note:  Some of you may be wondering, “Why is Tammy getting a reduction when she’s only a 34F?”  She seems to correctly fit the Freya 34F’s that she wears, but she also fits the Prima Donna Satin (that I ask my fit models to wear) in a 32 G/H.


I thought I’d share this ridiculous photo of my best friend in the whole world showing his support. Pun intended.