(The Rack is a weekly Friday column by fit model, bartender, musician and future superstar, Tammy.)
This song has been playing in my head on repeat, and I think it resounds with a theme I’ve noticed on the blog the past couple of days. The issue of “Right Fit = Wrong Look?” is one I’ve addressed a lot in my life.
I absolutely loved the outfit combinations Silfath came up with for Gina last week–she looked fantastic! But I never feel truly comfortable in a button down–even the gorgeous, tailored ones I got to wear when I was a fit model for Campbell & Kate! I’ve never had a shirt fit better than one which was literally designed around my body, so my issue has nothing to do with fit, but with feeling.
When I look at myself in the mirror wearing certain things, button downs being one of them, I feel like my breasts are too emphasized, and I get immediately uncomfortable. Inside, I feel like I want to be in the “hide me” category, but outwardly I end up choosing plunging necklines which maximize cleavage but minimize the surface area of fabric over my breasts, which in my head translates to a smaller appearance.
With my surgery looming (May 17th), I’ve been getting into a lot of conversations about what my breasts mean to me, and what it will mean when they are 3 cup sizes smaller. Many of my closest friends are hugely supportive of the surgery– they can all remember watching me get dressed to go out, changing my outfit 15 times more than the average female, fretting over the busty brunette on the other side of the mirror.
Then, there are the naysayers–most men, and even some women who can’t believe I would “destroy” such a gift. Just last night I had a male friend explain to me that my figure is what women are “supposed” to look like.
I read in a magazine last year that a scientific study determined that curves have a similar effect on the male brain to drugs. (This isn’t the original magazine, but it discusses the same study I read about.) I’m thrilled that large breasts are sexy, and I’m eager to beat out the competition a la Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” and snag the best possible mate, but I think Kate Hudson’s comment is a pretty accurate assessment of my feelings. Breasts are fun with clothes off, but a lot of times, with a lot of styles, and in SO many situations, they’re just in the way. Sometimes having curves in all the right places isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.