Here’s a confession: I’m calling this post “Spring Theory” because I do a lot of thinking about what will look good on busty women without actually buying or wearing the items I write about. That great C. Wonder necklace that I fell in love with stayed at the store, and someone else purchased the leopard Emma shoes in my size from Alice Alan. I even returned the purse that I bought for my husband to give me for Christmas! (He had another gift idea.)
As a start-up entrepreneur with no disposable income, I’m ultra-cautious about how I spend our money. It helps that I’m now doing what I love because I’m less tempted to use retail therapy to treat job discontentment, although I’m still very tempted to go shopping when things aren’t going my way. (Whether I purchase anything or not, just entering a department store makes me feel that all is right with the world.)
I’ve also just finished a book called Your Money or Your Life. The author defines money as “something that you trade your life energy for” and says to evaluate your spending with three questions:
- Did I receive fulfillment, satisfaction and value in proportion to life energy spent?
- Is this expenditure of life energy in alignment with my values and life purpose?
- How might this expenditure change if I didn’t have to work for a living?
The first two questions are having a giant impact on how I spend both money and time. They’re also giving me pause about Hourglassy–hence the confession in the first paragraph. I don’t want to promote shopaholism or pretend that our lives will be perfect once we fill the gaps in our wardrobes. After all, if I won’t purchase something because I can’t answer the first question with a “yes”, how much energy do I want to spend writing about it?
Fortunately, it helps for me to remember that Hourglassy is more than a shopping blog. It gives me great “fulfillment, satisfaction and value” to help another woman with large breasts appreciate herself and think about how to dress. When a reader emails me to say that Hourglassy has encouraged her to try something new, to value her body, or to take better care of her appearance, I consider my life energy well-spent.
The fashion magazines have begun broadcasting this year’s spring trends, and I’m going to explore them on this blog as far as time, budget and interest will allow. I’ll also keep asking myself the three questions as I think about dressing for spring. Perhaps you will, too?
It’s something really important to think about. Like you, even though I do a blog related to fashion/reviews, I try to be pretty conscious of how I’m spending my money and if I really need that item. Living in a small apt (and now adding a second child!) really makes me have to refine my wardrobe so it’s just the essentials and not too much clutter enters in. That being said, having less clothes means I go through them quickly with lots of wear and tear so I do have to still buy new ones often. In a way, it allows me to keep up with fashion somewhat but really focus on the items in style that I truly want and not ones that are just OK.
June, I just remembered that your blog was my original inspiration for careful wardrobe planning. That’s very interesting about less clothes meaning wearing them out, which means getting to buy more. I love “needing” something new, but I hate trying to find a substitute for a well-loved piece that is worn out and irreplaceable.
This is what I struggle with too with my Corporate Curves Column – I actually do not buy that many new clothes as I’m quite content with my wardrobe and can mix and match it in various ways. However it was a journey to get here. I do have a very good sense of what will and what wont work for my busty shape from the years of getting to this point though. Also agree that I don’t want to promote shopaholism cause I’m well aware of budget limitations and have those too. I follow fashion and always think what I will wear for the new season but only pick up on trends if they are my style – this spring the black & white theme and some of the strong pastels are my thing so am excited for the first time in a long time. But for this reason I often feel I’m recycyling ideas on my column and often wonder what my readers would like to read from me – just fashion or about worklife too?
Tina, I hope more readers will respond to you on this. One thing I’m interested in is how you came to your style, i.e., the steps of its evolution. I would also be interested in your featuring other full-busted professional women whose styles “work” even though they’re not your style (and commenting upon why they work).
Love this post! The first question is really excellent. Are our clothes worth the life energy used to have the money to purchase them? Well-made, tailored items that fit my large bust are so valuable to me, I’m willing to spend more than I would in a regular department store. However, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I still buy items as if there are only a few bras, shirts, and dresses in the world in my size… For instance, when a new Ewa Michalak bra came out a few months ago, my first thought was, I better buy that beautiful red bra now before it’s out of stock, because I’ll never find another one in my size! But that’s not true anymore. There are new, beautiful, and supportive H, HH, J, and JJ bras coming out every season! Now that there are so many great resources, I need to approach shopping for my bust more like I do other clothing and accessories.
Anna, thanks for this comment–I wasn’t sure anyone would be interested in or able to relate to this post as I was writing it. That’s a great point about no longer needing to shop from a place of scarcity for our bras–although I still think I need to jump on certain styles in fashion colors before they sell out (if I’m really in love with that color). I’m totally with you on your approach to your other clothing: “Well-made, tailored items that fit my large bust are so valuable to me, I’m willing to spend more than I would in a regular department store.”
I’m a big fan of YMOYL. It’s one of the most influential books I’ve ever read. It is why, despite owning a home and washing machine, I won’t buy a clothes dryer, choosing instead to line dry everything. I’ll explain below. As a devoted reader of Hourglassy, I have to say it hadn’t occurred to me that yours is a shopping blog.
I used to shop often, seeking something that might fit and be close enough. But you know the drill – large enough to cover the circumference of my bust often made me look like a lollipop on a stick. I’m also tall, so most plus-size tops are going to expose midriff ( worse than cleavage or button popping, since no scarf can be drafted to make it work appropriate.) Over the years I accumulated a closetful of meh, that wasted money and wasn’t all that enjoyable to shop for in the first place, because I had to dig through things that would never work. I was squandering life energy at double speed, blowing money and time. Until you. What I’ve taken away from the Busty Bloggosphere is a solid education that actually keeps me out of most stores, saving time and money. Style is not always about shopping and I view yours as a style blog.
Have you led me to purchases? Yes. But have you, and your blogging peers, spared me other, wasteful purchases? Bigger yes. A hundred times yes. I’ve found a look that works for me and pared my closet down to only what is worth having. Fewer items over-all means fewer things to wash……
So, about that laundry: Everything comes out of the washer and goes onto a hanger, where it remains until being worn. Exceptions are woolen knits and lingerie that go onto an accordian style drying rack.
Thank you for this amazingly affirming comment, Catherine!
I’m trying a compromise approach for the second part of this year. I’m still trying to rebuild a wardrobe that I really love, but also trying to be mindful about spending. I’ve been finding that swap/sell groups are a great way to try out new brands and styles for a much reduced price rather than committing to something brand new and expensive. I also like the environmentally friendly angle of wearing gently used pieces instead of using more resources for new stuff.
You’re motivating me to plan another swap. As for environmentally friendly, check out this event I’m considering attending this coming Thursday: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=337727946344789&set=a.279417432175841.64252.175479795902939&type=1&theater
Such good timing for Spring collections coming out as I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately too. Anxious for the next busty clothing swap so some of my lesser loved threads can find new homes! 🙂
Me too. Was out of town for the last one.
I’m just starting to think about spring and what I want for a wardrobe. My wardrobe was decimated by various life events and I stopped caring about clothes and now I’m rebuilding both. I appreciate blog posts about clothes and especially clothes that will likely fit my body because I live in the middle of nowhere. Having a few busty clothing bloggers to follow means I avoid paying return fees for things that were never going to work. Now if I could only find a blogger who lives where there’s real winters…
Anyway, I think the analysis about fit and the personal perspective you provide adds value beyond a shopping blog. I don’t see a buy! buy! buy! message in any of your posts.
Hi Jennn, I write on this blog on Tuesdays – the Corporate Curves Column and live in a country with serious, real winters which last for months. I’d be more than happy to answer any clothing related questions 🙂
So glad you saw and responded to this one, Tina!
That is so great that you can use bloggers as fitting room proxies, Jennn. And thanks for letting me know that I can value.