Feelings, we can’t escape them. But what I learned this week in a Redesigning 925 training is that yes, we can choose our attitude. Are we responsible or are we a victim? It was all about changing habits and choosing our attitude.
We had a very eye-opening exercise where we first had to pair up and pick a true story about a work situation where we felt like a victim and tell the story from that perspective to our partner. Then our partner needed to evaluate if it indeed sounded like we were a victim. That was all nice and easy as there’s always room at the victims coffee table, BUT then came the curve ball!
Now we had to stick to the same story but turn tables in our minds and take a responsible outlook on the same situation and take full accountability for the event, no matter what we had chosen.
I remembered that lesson the next day when in a meeting I kept noticing how blatantly a coworker kept talking to my bust. I felt disappointed and awkward. I mean, people at the office know that I’m booby and it’s not like he had not seen me before.
Another occasion happened later that night when I went to the gym for my Fustra session. I was wearing my Curvy Kate Wild at Heart plunge bra (that is the second day this year I have not worn a Freya Deco 🙂 !!!), and when I took my dress off in the ladies locker room, there were these two super fit girls gawking at my bust with their jaws open. I felt a little hurt or probably more self conscious–most girls at the gym tend to be super fit and small busted.
But what I heard was not, “OMG she’s so big!” Instead they were wondering where I get my bras since they give such a nice shape! So it was much more in my head. Our own heads can be our worst enemies.
That sounds like an amazing exercise in your workshop. I’m curious how (or if!) you were able to change your experience with your co-worker the next day from victimhood to responsibility.
I was, actually even when I was basically crucified in front of a 120 audience I kept thinking how he must feel for messing his words up. He just chose the wrong words in English when he was super nervous in front of the audience and I could see kinda said what he said, although he just made it sound different than things are. Yes, technically it was my responsibility as a team manager to get certain things done in a given schedule although his team did not do their part in time so my team was late so yeah, I’ve had to give his team some hard time over not pulling their weight but in the end – my team owns the development and is ultimately responsible.
Even when I was seeing red after it happened – I knew he did not mean his words like they sounded. Although it did not help my feelings but it helped my attitude.
Outstanding example! Yes, we are our own worst enemies all too often. How nice that the other ladies were appreciative of your great taste in lingerie.
Totally not the point of the post but, thank you so much for the tiny mention of the Freya Deco bra. Because of your mention, I checked it out and ordered 2 with a coupon I had for an online retailer. They came last night and fit me like a glove! The girls look amazing this morning in a lilac v-neck tee (paired with a pencil skirt). Thanks again!