Forgive me for being trite–I really do have serious opinions about Sheryl Sandberg’s book–but today’s post stems from her statement in the preface that “This book makes the case for leaning in, for being ambitious in any pursuit.” What I took from it was, “I need to embrace my busty-ness even more! I’m going to learn to knit!”

So last Sunday I purchased needles and a skein of yarn and signed up for this class on Craftsy. My goal is to get from this scarf. . .

The Craftsy instructor told us to keep our first scarf because it will be a “cute” reminder of how far we’ve come later.

to this sweater.

In her pattern notes, Amy writes, “This [sweater] is designed to look fantastic on the bustier, curvier gals among us. The 3/4-length sleeves look great on many figures and the scoop neck is flattering on a variety of body types.”
I have held myself back from sewing and knitting because I’m not good with my hands and have a serious shortage of patience, but thanks to Azzy introducing me to Fit to Flatter, I am going to ambitiously pursue sweaters that are perfect for me. Does anyone want to join me?

Or what else do you have going on in your life that has nothing to do with big boobs?*  In the end, it’s always a matter of time and priorities, isn’t it? After all, how many things can we lean in to? I’m motivated to lean in to being busty because I blog about it and have a business making dress shirts for women who are busty, but it helps that this new goal coincides with a more important priority: spending time with my husband. It will be a nice way to be with him while he’s on his laptop and we’re listening to the radio. (Plus, I have a hard time sitting still but am tired of obsessively checking my smartphone or playing Tetris on it.)

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*This gets to the crux of my issue with the book itself–what else do you have going on in your life that has nothing to do with your career? Former Facebook executive Kate Losse expresses this concern beautifully:

At this point in the text, what could become a critique of the new economy’s round-the-clock work imperative becomes its opposite: resignation to work’s all-consuming nature. “Facebook is available 24/7 and for the most part, so am I. The days when I even think of unplugging for a weekend or a vacation are long gone.”

For someone with fewer family demands than Sandberg, freedom is depicted not as a pleasure but a problem to be resolved by getting a family. The single woman goes out to a bar goes not to have fun or be with friends (the main reason most women I know attend a bar), but to find a husband with whom to procreate. “My coworkers should understand that I need to go to a party tonight…because going to a party is the only way I might meet someone and start a family!” Astonishingly for a book published in 2013, there are no self-identified lesbians, gay men, or even intentionally unmarried or child-free people in Lean In’s vision of the workplace. It’s not clear why Sandberg thinks that everyone should be in the business of getting a family, since the book argues that family gets in the way of work. But it seems that Sandberg can only imagine the dreaded “leaning back” as a product of family demands. Who would take a vacation voluntarily?

Life, in Sandberg’s vision of work, has gone entirely missing, at the linguistic as well as the polemical level. Except, of course, when one is at work. “I fully believe in bringing our whole selves to work,” Sandberg writes. Since her vision of work involves working all the time, it follows that work must be the place where one can be one’s full self.