A few weeks ago, my husband took a high-performance driving class. The most important instruction was, “Look where you want to go, not where you don’t want to go.” In other words, don’t look at the pothole. Look at the path around it. Otherwise, you will invariably hit the pothole.

Because of this lesson, I now understand what bothers me about Charla Krupp’s book How to Never Look Fat Again. The entire book focuses on the pothole. It focuses on the negative (don’t be) instead of the positive (be).

There’s more power in the positive. (In online dating, the best profiles tell us who the man or woman is, not who he or she isn’t. When we interview for a job, we try to frame everything as a positive.) If we devote our energy to hiding our flaws, we have nothing left to highlight our strengths. Eventually, we may even forget we have strengths.

Sometimes, as Katie pointed out in her comment on Monday, I spend a lot of energy working out how to make big breasts invisible. I focus so much on the bust line that I forget the waist and hips and all the advantages of an hourglass (or almost hourglass) figure. Thankfully, Katie also sent me a great email about the ways she highlights her figure, and I’m looking forward to sharing some of her tips here.

Let’s learn from each other. Large-breasted women come with so many personalities and strengths, that I’m also beginning a new series on this blog called “Inside the Closet of . . . .”. I’ll highlight what’s in the closets of women who wear a D cup bra or higher and work in different professions, are different ages, and have different heights. Let me know if you’d like to be part of this!

Just last night I looked inside the closet of a 40-year-old health care administrator who is 5’8″ and wears a 34G. I can’t wait to post what we can learn from her! (Nothing after the jump.)