It may be because I have daughters or it may be from my own past experiences, but for whatever reason I have a special concern when it comes to girls and body issues. I developed early and for a quiet girl who only wanted to sing and study, having boys ogle at my growing breasts was horrifying. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t know what to wear so I struggled to make what was available to me fit. Not knowing much about bras and their proper fit made it worse. I often think of how different those years would have been if I was better prepared for what was happening to me.
Why is it that we talk to girls about getting their period and all that entails but we shy away from exposing them to the truth about their breasts and how to take proper care of them? Because we live in a society that hyper-sexualizes breasts, it seems we are afraid to embrace our daughters’ growing busts.
Do you know what it feels like to have someone look at you and shake their head because you’re a C cup in 8th grade? It feels like slut-shaming.
We must begin to teach our girls early on that there is no shame in being busty. This is not an easy task. Preteen and teenagers are inherently self-conscious. Because of this, it’s up to the older women in their lives to take the initiative and begin not just telling them but showing them how to embrace their breasts. If you are slouching and hiding, then so will she. If she sees you frowning at your reflection in the mirror, she will do the same. If you have not accepted your own body, honey, you’ve got to fake it till you make it, at least in front of her.
I’d like to open up the dialogue between us, busty women seeking and sharing knowledge with each other and younger girls who are just developing. I want us to speak to them frankly but with humor, love and care about what we’ve learned, how we’ve felt, and the solutions we’ve found to issues we encounter. The more information we give them, the more comfortable they will be with themselves.
I have my own list of specific topics that I’ll be focusing on, but I’d appreciate input from you all.
What would you tell or explain to your younger self about having large breasts?
This is something I will be working on in the upcoming months and I look forward to hearing your ideas.
Remember, confident girls become confident women who raise confident girls.
Best Breasts Forward
I was thinking about this as I was talking to my mom last night. We never talked about bra fit in school even though we had a pretty thorough health program (depending on what teacher you had and how body-aware you were going into it, some of my peers felt they were “scared into abstinence”.) While my mom was sure to get me into seamless bras that mostly fit, sports bras only came in compression style that Title Nine was selling at the time, not near enough support (looking at pictures I was easily a 28C maybe D in early 7th grade.) I still remember my riding instructor at the time laughing as I tried to keep myself contained at a sitting trot when I was 12. I have a few distinct memories from riding at her barn but 13 years later, that is still very, very clear.
Thank you for sharing your story Katie. It’s interesting how so many of us have similar experiences. I’m hoping to put together something to help young developing girls get through their growing years with support instead of laughter and ridicule.