Don’t you hate being so informed about proper bra fit sometimes? I discovered this Canadian blog post over the weekend: The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Having Big Cans. Read it, and come back here for a quick boob personality test when you’re finished.
All done? Okay, here’s the test. Choose the letter that best describes your response:
While reading Monica Heisey’s post, I (a) laughed the whole way through; (b) laughed, chuckled or smiled inside with a few reservations; (c) frowned and shook my head the whole way through.
My answer is (b). I laughed a lot, but not as much as I would have if I had no idea about all the fabulous options available for those of us who wear a DD+. It was like I had two imaginary bra fitters on each shoulder. On my left, a tiny little Victoria’s Secret fitter could barely stand from laughing so much, and on my right, a tiny little bra fit purist wagged her finger at me.
It got me wondering about where my readers see themselves on the spectrum of approaches to being DD+. Is it all ultra-serious for you, or can you laugh sometimes?
In an ideal world, the person making me laugh would also be 100% correct. That would be the absolute BEST! However, since Monica Heisey is only 23 and living in the UK, I’m hoping it’s just a matter of time before Bravissimo and bloggers like Cheryl and Becky help her see the light. I’d LOVE to see her do a standup comedy routine about proper fit.
What do you think? Can a problem with a solution can be as funny as a problem without one. I sure hope so, because if the only way that someone can make big boobs funny is to tell us it’s all a lost cause, there’s nothing to wear, and we’re doomed to don beige bras the rest of our lives I won’t be able to laugh.
My two favorite excerpts:
Small-chested women, I am so sorry but in my head your life is one giant romcom montage of effortlessly elegant low-cut drapey shirts and never having to ask the question “Does this make me look pregnant?” so I just don’t know what I have to offer you.
Having a body as a woman is hard, y’all. No matter what shape it is. (I’m sure it’s a lot harder to have no body and be a woman, because then you’re just like, a whisper of the spirit of femininity, making you I guess Zooey Deschanel’s ghost? I digress.) People are constantly trying to politicize it or touch it or tell you how it should look and be. Shut up, everyone! Those with big boobs whine a lot about wishing they were smaller, while lots of ladies rocking an A cup wish they had more happening, bra-wise. Everyone chill out: your chest is fine as it is, if occasionally inconvenient or shaped slightly differently than you would like.